eGuide Archives: Bullying The Child Protection eGuide An electronic publication of Survivors And Victims Empowered Volume 2, Issue 6 February 12, 2009 Tip of the Week: Anti-bullying programs in schools can be very effective. They place a spotlight on bullying activity and encourage bystanders to become advocates for victims. But they only work as well as they are implemented in the schools and that varies widely. What is the bullying policy in your child's school and how is it implemented and enforced? If you don't know, now's the time to find out.  Other Resources: stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov (US Department of Health & Human Services) stopbullyingnow CDC safe youth.org/bullying christianitytoday.com/bullying Bullying In grades 6 through 10 over 3.2 million children are bullying victims (about 1 in 6) and there are about 3.7 million bullies (1 in 5). Fight Crime.org/Bullying And the remaining 62% may be the key to preventing bullying. 160,000 American school children skipped school today, and do on any given day, because they fear a bully at school. William Pollack/real boys When children are bullied, they are 5 times more likely to become depressed. Bullied boys are four times more likely to be suicidal than their peers. Bullied girls are eight times more likely to be suicidal. And a significant percentage of school shooters were bullying victims. Bullying victims, many of whom already suffer from self esteem issues, need support from both school and home to combat the problem. Bullying cannot be ignored and will not go away on its own. Boys Town's parenting.org has tips on "bully-proofing" your child available online at parenting.org/bully proof. They include teaching children to give themselves silent pep talks, encouraging friendships, teaching your child how to be a friend, role playing, and teaching children to literally stand up straight with their heads held high. Boys Town also recommends the HA HA SO strategy. It stands for: Help. Assert yourself. Humor. Avoid. Self talk. Own It. H: Help. Get help. Find a friend or adult you can count on. A: Assert yourself. Use an "I" statement to protect yourself. Say something like, "I like being different" or "I am sorry you don't want to get to know me better before you call me that." H: Humor. Use humor. Do or say something funny or even something just plain outrageous to throw the bully off balance. For example, if called a "chicken," start walking like a chicken and flapping your arms. A: Avoid. Stay away from bullies. If you notice a bully and can take another path across the playground, do that. S: Self talk. Give yourself a silent pep talk, reminding yourself of positive things. For example, you might think of something like, "I may not be good at track, but I'm proud of how I play the clarinet." O: Own it. If the put-down is about clothing or something you can change, just agree with the bully. Say something like, "Yeah, I don't like this sweater either. It sure is ugly, but I wore it because my aunt made it and she is visiting this week." (Caution your child not to use this technique for something inherent to the child, such as skin color or ethnic group.) If the put-down is about something you can't or don't want to change, hold your head high, own who you are with pride, and tell the other child you like being who you are. There are also reasons to be concerned for children who are bullies. Nearly 60 % of boys who were identified as bullies in grades 6 through 9 were convicted of at least one crime by time they were 24. Fight Crime.org/Bullying Even more dramatic, 40% of them had three or more criminal convictions by age 24. A study published in the February 2008 issue of the journal Developmental Medicine & Child Neurology found that children with ADHD were almost four times as likely as other youngsters to be bullies. Read MSNBC news story here Additionally, children with ADHD were ten times more likely to be regular victims of bullying prior to the onset of ADHD symptoms. Technology has made bullies' access to victims much greater. Cell phones, Instant Messenger, text messages and other forms of cyber accessibility can make bullying a 24/7 exercise for some children. In fact, a recent report of a task force created by state Attorneys General found that cyberbullying is the online threat your children are most likely to face. For more information on cyberbullying, we recommend visiting stopcyberbullying.org. In all types of bullying, whether in school, at home or online, the majority of kids who are neither bullies nor bullied may be the key to success in preventing bullying. If these kids do not tolerate it, it will not be tolerated. Specifically, bystanders and witnesses need to be taught to report bullying to adults, to support someone who is being bullied, and to stand up to the bully simply by telling him or her that what they are doing is bullying and it is wrong. Reminder of the week: Talk to your children about bullying. Do they know the signs that they might be a bully? Read Stop Bullying Now USHRSA. Do they exhibit signs of victimization? See New York Daily News victim of bullying.

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